Mass saints row
by Darkoslim
Summary: This is a CROSSOVER between MASS EFFECT and SAINTS ROW Shepard and the boss are beamed to each others universe the boss has to save the galaxy and Shepard has to lead the saints while trying to figure all this shit out romances between FEMSHEP/SHAUNDI FEMBOSS/ASHLEY AND and a little FEMBOSS/LIARA FUTA!FEMSHEP
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: enjoy and review any ideas? Tell me in the reviews**

* * *

EDEN PRIME

"Ashley!" Shepard yelled.

Shepard jumped after Ashely and threw her away from the beacon.

Shepard was raised up into the air her vision went black.

STEELPORT saints hq

"What the fuck is that?" Shaundi asked.

"A new gun!" The boss said smiling.

"What does it do?" Shaundi asked.

"...don't know..." The boss said.

She shot the gun.

It opened a portal.

"What th-" the boss couldn't finish the sentence.

It sucked her in with the gun.

"BOSS!" Shaundi yelled.

LIMBO?!

The boss woke up in a white place with another woman.

She had fire red shoulder length hair green eyes and freckles.

"Who the fuck are you?" The boss said.

"Who the fuck are you?" Shepard said.

"Okay so what is this? are we dead or what?" Shepard said.

"Can't be I imagine more fire and and lava." The boss.

"Yeah me to." Shepard said.

"So who are you?" Shepard said.

"I'm the fucking boss of the saints." The boss said.

"So no name then?" Shepard said.

"My name is sky." The boss said.

"Nice." Shepard said.

"Who are you?" The boss said

"I'm commander Shepard, but my friends call me Bitch magnet." Shepard said smiling.

She took the time to look at the woman she had black anime hair she sounded Latin a lip ring and bad ass clothes that were purple nothing much (cool accent though)

"Why?" The boss said.

"Um because I get all the bitches duh." Shepard said.

Sky chuckled.

"So what's the saints?" Shepard asked.

"We're a gang a very successful gang." Sky said.

"What about you?" Sky said.

"We'll I'm a commander I basically rule the whole galaxy to put it down in a science." Shepard said.

Two portals opened.

They had signs beside.

One said Shepard and the other one said sky.

"Well guess its time to go." Sky said.

"Yeah hey what's your number?" Shepard asked.

"8645543256." Sky said.

"Cool." Shepard said.

They both jumped through their portals.

STEELPORT

The portal returned in the boss's bedroom.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Shepard said.

Shepard looked at shaundi.

"Damn..."

NORMANDY SHIP

The beacon lit up and spew out a person.

Sky looked around.

"FUCK ME!" Sky said.

Sky saw Ashley.

"Well then I guess your the one that suppose to be doing it with." Sky said with a rape face.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU and WHERE'S BOSS?!" Shaundi yelled.

"Look I'm commander Shepard I saw your boss in this white shitty universe and we talked look I'm gonna call her." Shepard said.

Shepard pulled out her omni tool.

Beep boop beep.

Ringggggg ringgggg ringgggg.

"Hello?" Shepard said.

"Dude we went through the wrong portals." Sky said.

"Really? didn't notice anyways how's it going over there?" Shepard said.

"Umm shit it's pretty fucking cool." Sky said.

"Oh cool well we have to figure this shit out." Shepard said.

"Yeah but before we do that umm I have to fuck Ashley." Sky said.

"Whoa whoa that's mine I wouldn't have saved her and been in this mess if she wasn't gonna get fucked by me." Shepard said.

Sky laughed.

"Nope to bad I'm here and your there." Sky laughed.

"Okay okay you do that." Shepard said.

"I will." Sky mocked.

"She will be mine in the end." Shepard said.

"Yeah yeah yeah." Sky said.

"Hey don't screw shit up I'm leaving you in charge." Shepard said.

"I'm not gonna screw shit up and the same goes for you." Sky said.

"Yeah yeah yeah." Shepard said.

Shepard hung up.

"So there you go proof so what's your name?" Shepard said smiling.

"... My name is shaundi." Shaundi said.

"well my name is Shepard well I have a first name but you know." Shepard said shrugging her shoulders.

"Why are you wearing armor?" Shaundi asked.

"I'm a military commander." Shepard said.

"Well your quite the opposite of the boss." Shaundi said.

"Well I'm dirty and I'm gonna take a shower." Shepard said.

"Soooo leave... Unless you wanna stay and help me out." Shepard said smiling.

"Not on your life." Shaundi said leaving.

"Whatever." Shepard said.

Shepard went into the shower there was a button of course she had to pressed it.

Ten girls came running into the bathroom.

"Hey hey hey whoa! No! Go away no no!" Shepard said.

"Although you are all super hot." Shepard said.

"Thanks your are too." They giggle.

"Okay soo shoo shoo maybe next time." Shepard said.

"Awh!" They all said walking away.

"Wow." Shepard said.

She stayed in there for more 20 minutes.

She got out dried off and went to the closet.

"Hmmm."

She just wore a purple tank cargos and converse.

She walked down the stairs.

Everyone pointed their guns at her.

"Move out of my way pricks by the way I could beat the shit out of all of you." Shepard said.

A man shot at her.

Shepard did a back flip and dodged the bullet.

"Who thinks their tough shit?" Shepard said turning round to the group of saints.

Everyone pointed to the man.

"Well then." Shepard said grabbing him by the collar.

She dragged him to the helipad and dangled him off the edge.

"I'm so sorry ill tell you anything ill tell you all the secrets of the saints just don't kill me!" The man cried.

"Shepard what the hell?" Shaundi said walking over to her.

"This dick shot at me." Shepard said.

"Well he didn't know you." Shaundi explained.

"He said he would tell me all the secrets of the saints." Shepard said.

"Kill him." Shaundi said.

"What why?!" The man screamed.

"What...what the fuck you mean why? Your a fucking rat." Shepard said.

"Bu-." The saint said but couldn't finish.

"Yeah no explanations." Shepard dropped him he fell to the ground.

"Hi five!" Shepard said to shaundi.

Shaundi stared at her.

"What?" Shepard smiled.

"I'm not pierce." Shaundi said.

"Pierce? Well I don't know who that is but he better not try to shoot at me." Shepard said.

Shaundi walked away.

"NICE ASS HOLY SHIT!" Shepard said wide eyed.

Shaundi looked back.

"Oh shit did I say that out loud?" Shepard said.

Shaundi walked over to Shepard and slapped her.

"Ow!" Shepard said.

Shaundi walked away.

"Should have asked to high five that ass." Shepard mumbled to herself

NORMANDY SHIPPPP

"who are you and where is Shepard?" Ashley said.

"I'm sky and me and Shepard-." Sky looked at her phone.

"Hold on I need to take this." Sky said walking away.

"Dude we went in the wrong portals."

"Um shits pretty fucking cool."

"Yeah but before we do that umm I have to fuck Ashley."

Sky laughed

"Nope to bad I'm here and your there."

"I will"

"Yeah yeah yeah."

"I'm not gonna screw shit up and the same goes for you."

"Fuck she hung up." Sky said.

"Well then she left me in charge for now until we figure this shit out." Sky said to Ashley.

"So what do we do now?" Ashley said.

"Hmm party?strippers?" Sky said.

"What? No! We have work to do We have to go to the citadel." Ashley said.

"Alright alright how do we get there?".

"Go to the upper deck and and get to the map." Ashley said.

"ok see ya later babe." Sky said running off.

Sky walked up to the map.

"Um who are you?" Joker asked.

"Ask Ashley and head to the citadel." Sky said.

"Sky...commander you have to change into your armor." Ashley said.

"Armor? I don't need armor." Sky smirked.

"Um yeah you do go put on your armor now!" Ashley demanded.

"Oh my god finnnne MOM!" Sky pouted.

"That's a good girl ill be in your room shortly." Ashley smile.

"Whatever." Sky said.

Sky was walking to shepards cabin when a douche bag looking guy walked up to her.

"Whoa whoa whoa who are you?" Said the man.

"Ask Ashley." Sky said ignoring him.

Sky went into her cabin and got dressed into some armor.

She picked up a gun and looked the scope center point there was a blue creature but it was a very hot.

"Whatcha looking at?" Ashley said.

"Um nothin." Sky said.

"You need to comb your hair your going to see the council." Ashley said grabbing a brush.

"Don't touch my hair i like it messy." Sky said.

"Brush it." Ashley said.

"I'm not going to brush it sooo stop telling me to." Sky said.

"Fine ill do it." Ashley said.

"No no ill do it." Sky said taking the brush.

"Ask that tool I ran into in the hallway does he have bed head hair gel or some laid back axe hair gel." Sky said.

"Who? Kaiden?" Ashley said.

"Yep." Sky said brushing her hair.

"Alright." Ashley said leaving.

"Nice ass." Sky mumbled.

Ashley came back with axe spiked up hair gel.

"What? I didn't ask for that." Sky said.

"No you have spiky hair and I want them to be neat not laid back and all over the place." Ashley said giving her the gel.

"Really? Come on." Sky said opening up the container.

Sky put the gel on her hands and rubbed it through her hair and brushed it.

"There happy?" Sky said.

"Nope take out the lip ring." Ashley said.

"Awwww really?" Sky whined.

"Yes your a commander." Ashley said.

"Oh my god does Shepard have to put up with this shit?"

STEEPORT

"Shepard this is pierce." Shaundi said siting next to pierce.

"Sup but who are you really?" Pierce said.

"Um hey and shaundi explain to him while I go to the fridge and get something to eat." Shepard said heading to the kitchen.

There were saints everywhere mostly girls in tight clothes...

Shepard walked past them she opened the fridge the was only pizza beer and some energy drink.

Shepard ate a cold piece of pizza and drunk the energy drink.

"Ughr ew what the fuck tastes like ass." Shepard said.

"I've got something that'll make you feel better." A ugly stripper said.

"No fucking thank you..." Shepard said looking away.

"Come on baby you know you want this million dollar body." The stripper said getting on top of Shepard.

"Um don't you mean two cent?" Shepard said pushing her off of her.

Shepard walked to the living room where shaundi and pierce were at and the stripper followed.

"I'll do anything just let me touch you!" The stripper said.

Shepard sat down on the couch and sighed the stripper just kept pleading for Shepard.

"oh my gooooddd what the fuck!" Shepard said.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!" Pierce said.

Shepard laughed.

"I don't know it keeps talking to me." Shepard said laying her head on shaundi lap.

"Hey babe." Shepard said with a wink.

"NO SHE MINE!" The stripper sad pulling Shepard up.

"Kill me." Shepard said.

"JUST LEMME TOUCH YOUR HAIR!" The stripper said.

"NO ONE TOUCHS MY HAIR." Shepard said.

"Hey Shepard shaundi do you wanna go get some clothes and shit?"

"Yeah cool shaundi? Shepard said.

"Yeah come on I'll take the jet." Shaundi said.

"Okay meet you guys there." Pierce said leaving.

"What about me?" The stripper said.

"Hmm dying is a option." Shaundi said leaving to helipad.

"Damn shaundi bitchy much?" Shepard said laughing at shaundi.

"Just come on." Shaundi said.

They got into the jet and flew to nobody loves me.

"We own this place so everything is free." Shaundi said.

Shepard dressed in a purple hoodie some white hipster jeans and purple converse.

"Good lets go." Shaundi said.

"What about pierce?" Shepard said.

"I don't wanna wait." Shaundi said getting into the jet.

"...ok" Shepard said getting in.

"Hey can I get tattoo?" Shepard said.

"Yeah what are you gonna get?" Shaundi asked.

"The Japanese koi fish." Shepard said.

"Oh." Shaundi said.

They arrived at the tattoo parlor.

"OMG IT'S THE SAINTS!" A girl screamed.

"No tattoo today." Shaundi said grabbing shepards hoodie.

"Awww! No fair" Shepard said getting into the jet.

They flew back to hq and watched tv.

"All saints get out and go...do something you too hoes." Shaundi said.

Shepard sat on the couch and turned on the tv shaundi got a cup of water and sat down beside her.

"Shaundi I have something to tell you." Shepard said in a serious tone.

"What?" Shaundi asked.

"Your pretty." Shepard smiled.

"Thank you." Shaundi said keeping her eyes forward.

"Shaundi?" Shepard said.

"Yes?" Shaundi asked again.

"I like you." Shepard said getting close.

Shaundi tensed up.

"Shaundiiiiii." Shepard said like a child.

"What?" Shaundi said.

"You can breath if you want." Shepard laughed.

Shaundi pushed Shepard away.

"Come on babe." Shepard laughed taking her hand in hers.

Shaundi didn't move.

Shaundi started to laughed.

"What?" Shepard joined in.

"Your such a child." Shaundi laughed.

"I know that's why me and pierce get along well." Shepard smiled.

"But seriously shaundi your the most beautiful person I've ever seen." Shepard said looking at shaundi.

Shaundi turned to look a Shepard.

Shepard didn't know why she felt this way towards shaundi her hand tingled when she touched her hand and it was hard to breathe around her her knees felt weak she could have anyone she want but who she needed was shaundi...is this love?

"What?" Shaundi said.

"Your beautiful." Shepard said rubbing the tattoo on shaundi's hand.

Shepard leaned in for a kiss she could smell the mint on shaundi's breath.

"I'm backkkkk!" Pierce said coming through the door.

Shepard backed away from shaundi and fell of the couch.

Shepard saw pierce.

She gave him the: are you serious?look.

And he gave her the:oh shit I'm sorry! Look.

"Hi." Shepard said.

"Hi."

NORMANDY

"Yes if she was like you." Ashley said

"Now the lip ring take it out." Ashley said crossing her arms

"Fineeeeeee god your not fun." Sky sighed

"What did you say?" Ashley said

"Nothing." Sky pouted taking out her lip ring

"Um erm commander... Eta 30 minutes." Joker said over com

"Thanks man, Soo what now?" Sky said

" well i really don't know." Ashley sat down

Sky sat beside her

"I've gotta idea." Sky said smiling

"No I actually have to show you all the species." Ashley said activating her omni tool

"Here's what a asari looks like." Ashley showed her

"Damn I can already tell their all about sex." Sky smiled

"Here's a vorcha." Ashley smiled

"Eww why the fuck is its face pulled back like that?" Sky said looking sick

Ashley chuckled

"Here's a quarian." Ashley said

"I bet there hot under that mask." Sky said

"Why?"Ashley questioned

"Look at that body why would you have a nice body and a ugly face?" Sky laughed

Ashley giggled

"Okay and here's a krogan and a turrian." Ashley showed the last picture

"Ew." Sky said getting up

"There's more but ill show you them later." Ashley said

"Hey you gotta a boyfriend?" Sky said

"What? No" Ashley answered

"You gotta a girlfriend?" Sky asked sitting back down beside her

"Um no." Ashley said scooting over a bit

"Do you want one?" Sky smiled

"Um that's not part of my religion so no." Ashley said

"I'm a Christian but that doesn't mean I can't like girls see look if god doesn't want gay people in the world why would he make them? And also god doesn't make mistakes so..." Sky said scooting closer

"Well that does make sense." Ashley admitted

"See look its cool." Sky said turning Ashley's face towards hers

She licked her lips

Sky kissed Ashley on the lips but Ashley jumped back away from her and blushed hard

"I Im um we I you... I have to go...CLEAN GUNS!"Ashley rushed off out of the room

Sky got up and fell on her bed

"I wonder has Shepard fuck someone yet." Sky said

Sky called Shepard

Ringgggggg ringggggggggg ringggggggg

"Hello?"

STEELPORT

**"**Um hey pierce." Shaundi said awkwardly

"Pierceeeee back so soon?" Shepard said through her teeth

"Um yeah sooo what do you guys want for dinner?"pierce said moving into the living room

Beep beep beep

Shepards omni tool blinked

"Ill be back." Shepard said going upstairs

"Hello?" Shepard said

"Hey you got laid yet?" Sky asked

"Well yeah almost by ten girls." Shepard said lying down on the bed

"Shower sluts don't count." Sky said laughing

"Well then no." Shepard admitted

"Weakkkkkkk." Sky laughed

"Fuck off you haven't either." Shepard said

"Um yeah I have." Sky lied

"No the fuck you haven't Ashley's straight its gonna take some time to change her." Shepard said

"How do you know?" Sky asked

"She's obviously straight as a line." Shepard said

"Well tell me why she kissed me?"sky said bragging

"What the fuck ever dude I almost kissed shaundi but fucking pierce came in at the wrong time." Shepard said

"He does have really bad timing." Sky laughed

"Ok pierce shaundi Ashley who would you fuck marry and kill?" Shepard asked

"Hmmm marry Ashley fuck shaundi kill pierce." Sky said

"I really like pierce but kill fuck Ashley and marry shaundi." Shepard said

"Really marry shaundi?" Sky asked

"Yeah she's fucking sexy she's super cool fun and man she's sexy." Shepard said daydreaming

"You said sexy twice." Sky chuckled

"Well that's how serious it is." Shepard laughed

"Commander eta 5 minutes." Joker said

"Hey is that joker! Tell him I said how big is his ship? It's a inside joke he'll get it."

"Alright talk to you later bitch magnet." Sky laughed

"ass wipe." Shepard laughed and hung up the phone

Shepard walked back down the stairs

"So what we eating?" Shepard asked

"I don't fucking know." Pierce said

"I don't care." Shaundi said

"So it's one of those nights that everybody Will eat anything?" Shepard sitting beside shaundi

"Yep." Pierce said shining a gun

"We'll shit I'll wait." Shepard said

"What time is it?" Shaundi said turning on the tv

"12:43" pierce said putting up the gun

"Damn ima take a shower and um I'll eat pizza." Shepard said getting up

Shepard walked up the stairs and grabbed some boxers and a gray and black stripped tank that she got today she laid them out on the bed and got into the shower

It was about 1:00 when she got out she dried off and put on the tank and boxers she laid on the bed and turned on the tv she saw insidious on the tv

"Oh shit this movies scary as fuck!" Shepard said

She texted pierce

Shepard:Hey come and watch insidious with me!

Pierce: hell no!

Shepard: come on man!

Pierce: Hold on

Shepard: :D yeah bring yo scary ass!

Pierce: -_-

Pierce came in the room a couple of seconds later

"Man I'm scared as fuck!" Pierce said laying down beside Shepard

They watched the movie for a while

"Okay okay pierce so if you had a baby and some demon type ghost shit wanted it would you give it to them?" Shepard smiled

"Fuck yeah shit have it!" Pierce laughed

Shepard joined in

"Yeah fuck that!" Shepard laughed

Shepard and pierce started hearing things down stairs

"Oh shit fuck this! I'm going in shaundi's room!" Shepard said

"No no no fuck you your staying in here with me!"pierce said

"Nope!" Shepard said grabing the remote she walked to the door she turned off the tv and ran

"AHHHHHH!" Pierce screamed

Shepard laughed and ran into shaundi's room and jumped on the bed

"Ah Shepard what the fuck?" Shaundi said

"I'm scared." Shepard said getting under the covers and cuddling shaundi from behind

"Whatever where's pierce?" Shaundi said

"In my room."Shepard laughed

"Shaundi your special to me I really want you to know that." Shepard snuggled up to her

Shaundi turned around and looked Shepard in the eyes

Shaundi leaned in and kissed Shepard on the lips lightly

She snuggled up to Shepard rested her head on shepards chest and wrapped her arms round her torso

They both fell asleep like that

Shepard woke up without shaundi in her arms

She walked down stairs and smelled bacon and eggs

"Hmm what smells so good?" Shepard smiled she creeped up behind shaundi and wrapped her arms around her waist

Shaundi jumped

" I almost killed you!" Shaundi said

"Why didn't you?" Shepard laughed

"Because I smelled you you smell like coconuts." Shaundi smiled

"Thank you." Shepard laughed

Shepard let go of shaundi and walked beside her

"Is this for me?" Shepard said

"Maybe." Shaundi said putting her arms around shepards neck

Shepard put her arms around shaundi's waist

"You know your even more beautiful without makeup on." Shepard smiled

"Thank you." Shaundi said kissing Shepard lips

Shaundi let go and went back to cooking

Shepard went upstairs to her room pierce was on her bed in fetal position

"Hey man what happen last night?" Shepard laughed

"I hate you." Pierce said

Shepard laughed "come on get out I gotta get ready." Shepard said

Pierce walked out the door and into his room

Shepard got in the shower for 16 minutes got out and got dressed in a purple tank white hipster jeans and black high top converse

She walked back down stairs where shaundi was on the couch eating

Shepard got her food and sat beside shaundi

They watched tv until they were done eating

"Ok we have stuff to do today." Shaundi said

"Alright like what?" Shepard said

Shaundi kissed Shepard on the cheek

"Lets just say murdertime Funtime." Shaundi said walking up the stairs

NORMANDY

"Commander eta five minutes."joker said over the comm

"Hey um joker how big is your ship?" Sky asked

"We're you talking Shepard?" Joker said

"The one and only." Sky smiled

"Well tell her it's not the size it's how you drive it." Joker said protective

"Why so upset?" Sky laughed

"I'm not its just a fact." Joker said

"Righhhhht." Sky said leaving the room

She went down to where Ashley was

"Hey sis that Kaiden guy is super cuteee." A girl said talking to Ashley

Sky cleared her voice

Ashley shut off the comm channel and turned around

"did you hear that?" Ashley said embarrassed

"Yep totally I was here for the whole convo." Sky lied

"Oh man." Ashley blushed

"Aww so cute your blushing." Sky said moving to her side

"Shut up." Ashley blushed more

Sky laughed

"Oh my god really Kaiden that tool?" Sky laughed

"I don't like him." Ashley blushed

" I know because you have me." Sky said kissing Ashley on the lips

Ashley knew she wasn't suppose to but she had to she kissed sky back grabbing her shoulders and kissing her hard

Sky licked Ashley's bottom lip asking for entrance Ashley accepted the visitor their tongues fought for dominance sky won of course sky lifted Ashley and put her on the workbench rubbing her thighs and sucking her lips sky moved down to Ashley's neck and sucked and bit it leaving a mark sky's hands got closer to her destination

"Sk-" Ashley was about to say before she was interrupted

"Commander we have arrived." Joker said knowing what they were doing

"I'm gonna kill you." Sky yelled

"Paybacks a bitch." Joker laughed evilly

STEELPORT

Shaundi came back down the stairs

Shepard walked up to her

"Um do...do you want to go on a date later?" Shepard asked nervously

Shaundi laughed

"Aw your so cute!" Shaundi laughed

Shepard stared blushing

"Aww now your blushing!" Shaundi laughed harder

"Shaundi yes or no?" Shepard blushed

"Yes." Shaundi said giving Shepard a light kiss

Shepard let out a sigh of relief

"Ok so today you have to go to have to play Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax." Shaundi said casually

"Wow sounds fun." Shepard said going to the kitchen

Shaundi followed

"Yeah you just go in and shoot mascots earn enough money and make it to the end before time runs out." Shaundi says like its all normal

"Ok then I'll be back I'm going shopping want anything while I'm out?" Shepard asked

"Nope." Shaundi said siting on the couch

"Alright." Shepard walked to the elevator and went to the garage

" Damn nice cars" Shepard said getting in a red Attrazione

Shepard turned on the car

VROOM! The engine roared loud

"I.. I think I'm in love" Shepard said hugging the wheel

She drove to planet saints

She picked out a white shirt and a purple tie

She drove to nobody loves me just for black skinnys and high top purple converse

" okay I got my shit ooo I can go get that tattoo!" Shepard jumped into the car and drove to the tattoo parlor

"OH MY GOD IT'S A SAINT! WAIT ITS THE LEADER!" A fangirl screamed

"O shit um hi there." Shepard waved

"AHHHHH SHE SAID HI TO ME!" The girl ran up to her

"Hi." Shepard said

"CAN I HAVE A Picture?" The girl screamed

"Um sure."Shepard said

The girl put her arm around shepards waist because Shepard was taller she slung her arm around shoulders

The girl took the picture

"Awww thank you can I get one with your...your shirt off." The girl said biting her lip

"Okkkkk." Shepard said

The girl squealed

Shepard took off her shirt she had rock hard abs and pretty good size boobs her arms and back were nice and toned

"Your so hot." The girl gawked at Shepard

"Thank you." Shepard laughed

"Can I touch?" The girl asked

"Nope I'm off limits." Shepard said

"Oh."the girl said sadly

She took the pic

"Thank you!" She said she ran up to Shepard and kissed her on the cheek

Shepard smiled and put on her shirt

"No problem bye." Shepard said

"Bye!" The girl smiled

The reason Shepard did that is because the girl was pretty cute

She walked in and got the koi tattoo she wanted before

Shepard drove back to HQ and laid on the couch

"Nope get up gameshow time" shaundi said pinching Shepard on the butt

"Ow! Ok ok." Shepard said getting up

They got to the studio and since Shepard was military trained it only took her like 5 minutes to do the genki thing

Shepard went back to hq

"Oh god I'm so sleepy." Shepard said laying on the couch

"Oh wait i have to get ready for the date." Shepard said getting up

She got up took a shower and dried off and brushed her teeth she put on some saint boxers and bra then she put on the shirt and tie then the skinnys and converse

She walked down stairs

And she saw the girl she saw earlier

"Oh hey there? What are you doing here?" Shepard asked

"Oh I'm here for you ready for are date." The girl said with a creepy smile

"Sorry I'm kinda spoken for so yeah." Shepard said rubbing the back of her neck

"Oh ok." The girl walked onto the helipad and walked straight off

"Oooookkkkk creepy." Shepard sat on the couch

Shaundi came down the stairs in skin tight purple dress and black open toed heels

Shepard looked up at her and drooled

"Close your mouth." Shaundi laughed

"My bad Just distracting ." Shepard smiled

They walked to the car Shepard was driving today

Shepard drove to the most fancy restaurant in steelport of course they got in without reservations

They walked in and sat down at any table the wanted they ate some food and blew the whole place up

Shepard drove to a beach and they walked along it holding hands they sat down and cuddled

"I love you." Shepard said

"I love you to." Shaundi said

She turned shaundi's head and kissed her shaundi climbed on top of Shepard and started kissing they started tongue wrestling of course shaundi won

They walked back to the car and drove home

Shepard carried shaundi up the stairs they took off their clothes and got into the bed shaundi took her hair out of a ponytail

"Beautiful." Shepard smiled

Shaundi chuckled

Shepard and shaundi spooned and fell asleep

Shaundi wasn't there again

Shepard woke up and went downstairs

No breakfast

"Shepard care to explain?" Shaundi said showing Shepard a picture on her phoneof her and a girl saying my girlfriend 3

"I explain." Shepard said

"Oh please do." Shaundi said with her arms crossed

" she's a stalker she was just a girl that asked for a pic that's it." Shepard said

"Okay then explain this." Shaundi says pulling up a pic of shepard with her shirt off

"I didn't want to be rude." Shepard said

"I will not share you with anyone." Shaundi said angrily

"I know babe and I will show you." Shepard said leaving and going to the helipad she jumped in a jet and drive to city hall

"I need to make a live broadcast." Shepard said

She went into the news room and the put her on the news she Was on every building and every tv

"I'm Shepard leader of the saints I came here today to confess my love." Shepard said

Then she laughed "I bet every girl just had a stroke because they wondering who it is." Shepard laughed again

"Well it's not you sorry it's shaundi my one true love I love you will you be my girlfriend?" Shepard smiled

"Well that's it see ya around fuckers." Shepard waved goodbye to the camara and left city hall."

NORMANDY

"Oh your gonna find out what a bitch is." Sky smiled"Sky lets just go." Ashley said

"Yes master." Sky teased

"Come on Kaiden." Ashely said

"Yeah come on fuck face." Sky said

The went to the citadel embassies

"Hey Kaiden has anyone told you that you look so gay?" Sky asked

"Um no ma'am." Kaiden said

"Are you?" Sky said

"Um I d-" Kaiden was cut off

"No bitch I don't need a explanation I need a fucking answer." Sky said walking through the embassies

"Um I am bi sexual ma'am." Kaiden said

"Well fuck you go both ways?" Sky smiled

"Affirmative." Kaiden answered

"So you like getting fucked while fucking someone?"sky laughed

"I guess." Kaiden said

"Okay okay so tell me this what's better man butt or pussy?" Sky laughed

"Um uh Er..." Kaiden blushed

"Answer me " sky smiled

"Man butt." Kaiden said

Sky laughed super loud

"O my god! Why?" Sky asked

"It's tighter..."kaiden blushed

"O my god Ashley are you hearing this guy? Oh shit I wish pierce and Shepard were here!" Sky laughed

"Kaiden it's cool I like gay guys their funny and always have nice teeth." Sky chuckled

Sky was deemed a specter

Sky picked up wrex Garrus and tali and got her assignments and went back to the ship

Everyone meet in the conference room

A couple of minutes later sky went into the conference room

"Alright I think we should go get this liara t'soni she sounds like one of those blue things so she's probably hot...ok everyone dismissed."

Sky went to her room and called Shepard

"Hey man." Sky said

"Hey what's up?" Shepard said

"O my god me and Ashley started having this make out section right at her station she's defiantly mine." Sky said cockily

"Well I've been sharing a bed with shaundi and I jut asked her to be my girlfriend." Shepard beamed

"Girlfriend? O my god did you tell shaundi you love her?" Sky pinched the bridge of her noes

"Well maybe...yeah.." Shepard said

"Look I know shaundi if you break her heart she will cut your nipples off." Sky said

"Overreacting a little?" Shepard laughed

"Nope not one bit." Sky laughed

"Okay whatever." Shepard said

"There's this creepy stalker that won't leave me alone." Shepard said

"Did you take a pic with her?" Sky asked

"Yep." Shepard said knowing she did something wrong

"You can't show your fans that you have emotion." Sky chuckled

"Too late I kinda just confess my love for shaundi to all of steelport." Shepard said biting her lip

"O my god your in a heap of trouble fan girls will think that you care and you can learn how to care about them you have been warn." Sky laughed

"Okay um I think I'm losing my mind because there's like 1 million girls coming towards me." Shepard said

"O your not losing your mind hey before you get torn to shreds which ones better man butt or pussy?" Sky asked

"Pussy of course!" Shepard and sky laughed before hanging up.

STEELPORT

**"She hung up... O well." Shepard deactivated her omni tool**

She turned around and saw about a million girls

"Whoa um hi." Shepard smiled

The girls screamed

Shepard covered her ears

One girl in the front ripped off shepards purple tank

Everyone screamed again

Another girl ripped off her cargo shorts

Shepard ran away as fast as she could but she didn't get far before a girl jumped on top of her

All the girls caught up and jumped on Shepard kissing and touching her ripping her bra and boxers

Shepard started to crawl through the crowd she escaped and ran to hq the girls noticed and ran after her

Shepard ran down the street in just her bra and boxers

"Shit shit shit shit fuck me fuck me fuck me!" Shepard sung while running

She made it to hq and went into the elevator

When she reached the top floor she ran and dove onto the couch

"O my god pierce bro o my fucking god there are like a million girls out there!" Shepard said gasping for breath

Pierce laughed

"Yeah I know they have been filming you since you made your big announcement." Pierce chuckled

"so it was a helicopter following me?" Shepard asked

"Yep." Pierce said

"Those bitches! Why didn't they help me?!" Shepard said in rage

"It was to good of a story." Pierce chuckled

Then a helicopter landed on the helipad a man got out

He walked in the hq

"SHAUNDI !SHAUNDI! I'VE COME TO PROCLAIM MY LOVE FOR YOU!" The man said

"Who the fuck are you?!" Shepard said about to drop kick his neck

"Josh get the fuck out of here." Pierce said getting up

Shepard picked him up and threw him half way across the room

"Look little shit shaundi is mine and if every look or touch her I will shoot you in the face." Shepard yelled

"Um Shepard your eyes are red..." Pierce said

"? What the fuck? Doesn't matter right now." Shepard said

"An you better get all that lipstick off you before shaundi sees." Pierce said

"Oh shit your right ill be back."Shepard said running up the stairs

But something blocked her path

"Aww baby of course ill be your girlfriend!" Shaundi said kissing Shepard

"NOOOOOO!" Josh screamed

"Um why do you have lipstick all over you and no clothes?" Shaundi asked

"You didn't see chase?" Pierce laughed

"I was attacked by fan girls." Shepard explained

"Baby your you look terrible got take a shower you smell like desperation and what do you want to eat?" Shaundi said

"Pizza babe." Shepard said going to her room

Shepard took a shower dried off and put on a pair of boxers and a tank

She walked downstairs and laid on couch

"Hey babe." Shepard said softly

Shaundi sat down on the couch

Shepard turned and laid her head in shaundi's lap shaundi began to play in shepards hair

"Really you didn't dry your hair?" Shaundi said

"Well I kinda did." Shepard smiled

Shaundi turned on the tv

They watched tv until someone came in the elevator

"Pizza delivery." A man said

Shepard got up and payed the man

"Whoa your the saints leader...and your in your underwear. The man laughed

Shepard rolled her eyes and pushed him into the elevator and pressed the button

She got two plates and two slices of pizza she walked back to the couch and gave a slice to shaundi

After they ate it was starting to get late

"Im going to bed." Shaundi said getting up

"K ill be up later." Shepard said smacking shaundi's butt as she passed

Shaundi looked at her

"What? I've waiting along time to do that." Shepard smiled

Shaundi walked upstairs and went into her room

Shepard sat and eat like five more pieces of pizza

She decided to play call of duty bo2

Gamer tag: xXTheBoss;PXx

She turned on her mic and started to play

"Prestige master... Nice." Shepard smiled

She joined free for all

"O MY GOD IM PLAYING WITH THE SAINTS LEADER!" A man screamed

"Calm your tits bro I'm just playing like a normal person." Shepard said

"Hey MOM MOM IM PLAYING WITH SAINTS LEADER!" The man screamed

"O my god really bro I bet someone fucking recording this." Shepard laughed

"The saints fucking suck!" Some else yelled

"Go suck a hairy dick." Shepard said

"Your probably not even a real saint let alone the leader." The man said

"Oh I'm not?" Shepard laughed

"Yeah!" The man argued

"Well I don't care I'm gonna play and enjoy beating your ass." Shepard said

They started playing

"Bro what fuck was that? You suck ass dude." Shepard said shooting the guy

"Man shut the fuck up." The man said

They played the rest of the game and Shepard came in first with 50 kills

"Oh! What! Suck my chick balls bitch! Now I'm gonna go sleep with my girlfriend! Shaundi! And dude that freaked out stay awesome bro!" Shepard laughed

And with that Shepard walked up the stairs and went to bed


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note: review enjoy**

* * *

We have more strippers walking around here fucking strip club." Shaundi yelled."all these hoes without clothes have to go!"

Shepard rolled her eyes pressed a button and pointed it at shaundi.

"Hmm there seems to be something wrong with remote because the mute button isn't working." Shepard said with a straight face.

Shaundi was furious she grabbed Shepard by the collar and brought their face together.

"Woah shaundi I'm sorry I was just kidding babe, I wuv you." Sheapard said nervously.

Shaundi let go of Shepard and plopped down beside her on the couch

"Well act like it! I'm just so upset first Johnny and then his funeral then these whores it's just a lot for me to take in." Shaundi cried.

"Your on your period aren't you?" Shepard sighed.

"Yes."shaundi sniffled.

'Greaaat no sex for me' Shepard thought.

"Aww,come here." Shepard said."where I came from girls don't have periods anymore…and besides I have a dick."

(S/n: have you notice I'm mass effect it's like they don't have periods? Like hey! lets do it! Okay!)

"I fucking hate you." Shaundi said punching Shepard in the shoulder.

Shepard chuckled and pulled shaundi close to her.

"You hurt my feelings." Shepard pouted.

"Good. Somebody needed to you have too big of a ego." Shaundi said folding her arms.

Shepard smiled."the only reason I have a big ego is because I have you my strong,amazingly beautiful, independent,smart girlfriend."

Shaundi rolled her eyes."I'm not sucking your dick."

"Wha-ugh I'm sicken that yo-"

Shaundi stared at Shepard intensely, Shepard looked back but she could hold the stare.

"Ugh come on your vagina is bleeding not your mouth." Shepard pled.

"That's it I want these hoes out and I want you on the couch." Shaundi demanded.

Shaundi got up to strut off but Shepard grabbed her hand.

"Come on baby I was just playing dont make me sleep on the couch it smells like sweat and ass…and sex…and saints flow which also smells and taste like ass."Shepard said with desperation in her voice.

"Well next time I'm on my period think twice about what you say." Shaundi said.

Shaundi pulled away from Shepard's grasp and walked up the stairs."AND I WANT THOSE HOES GONE."

Shepard sighed."it gonna be a long night."

Shepard ran up stairs to take a shower, she got out 20 minutes later and dried herself and hair.

Shepard put on a fresh pair of white boxers with purple saint symbols on the butt cheeks and lettering that said PLEASE DO NOT ENTER HERE!

Shepard walked into shaundi's room quietly, shaundi was faced away from the door so Shepard decided to sneak up behind her. Shaundi's hair was down it looked a little wet, she had on some panties that were purple with white lettering that said PLEASE ENTER HERE!

Shepard crept up behind her and wrapped her arms around shaundi's waist. Shaundi jumped at sudden contact.

"With pleasure." Shepard purred."you know I've never seen you naked and by the looks of your body I this…I think it'll be pretty amazing."

"Get off me sam." Shaundi said pushing Shepard away.

"Sam? How do y-"

"You talk in you sleep." Shaundi said.

"Look I'm sorry but don't make me sleep on the couch…I can't take it!" Shepard begged.

Shaundi sighed."ok get in no sex no blow job no hand job no fucking ear job."

"Wait ear job? No ear job? Right because I was totally gonna ask for that." Shepard said sarcastically.

Shaundi rolled her eyes."Shut up."

Shepard turned off the lights and jumped on shaundi's bed.

Shaundi crawled in snuggled close to Shepard, Shepard smirked and pulled shaundi close.

"See what would you do without me."

…

"Maybe we should have set off the bomb after we kill Loren…" Shepard said bitting her lip.

"You think." Shaundi snapped. The three walked along building but stop when something horrifying blocked their path.

"This bitch…has no clothes on." Pierce said.

"Let me out!i can help." The brute said.

"I don't know Shep the last time a huge naked man said he could help me it didn't go well." Pierce said unsure about the guy.

Shepard shot the locks around the brutes hands and feet. He fell to his knees when he stood he was about 7 feet tall.

"Um do you need some clothes? And what's your name." Shepard suggested.

"Pleeeeasssse put on some clothes"pierce pled.

"My name is ogle, I don't need clothes to fight now let's go get Loren." Ogle said.

…

"Are you crazy?" Shaundi screamed.

"No."Shepard jumped on globe."I'm insane."

Shepard shot the chain, the chain finally broke and began to plummet to the ground.

Shepard pulled out her dual pistols and shot syndicate soldiers.

"Boom 100 points boom 200 points man th- oh shit!"

A brute charged for the ball coming at a great speed, the brute leaped for the ball landing right on top of it bringing it down faster.

"Get tha fuck off!" Shepard yelled, Shepard took out out dual smgs and started shooting the brute it crawled closer and closer to her until the huge thing couldn't take it anymore and flew off.

Shepard smiled in victory.

Loren was in elevator with triumph on his face he walked out and pulled out cigaret and took a long drag.

Loren looked around he expected more from the saints needless to say.

"I knew the saints wer-"

The globe came hurdling down on Loren crushing him with no problem.

"Shut the fuck up should have stuck to making damn waffles."

…

"So I think we should take our relationship to the next level…" Shepard smiled.

"What you mean sex?" Shaundi asked.

"Well yeah."

"I'm on my period." Shaundi said.

"That was last week!" Shepard yelled.

"No that was last night."

"My dick says it was two years ago but whatever." Shepard sighed.

Shepard gave shaundi a kiss and gave her a couple more down her neck.

"Please." Shepard whispered."God you smell amazing."

Shepard pulled the band holding up shaundi's hair, her hair fell down freely.

"so sexy…I can't wait till I see your body." Shepard smiled."I love you no fuck me for saying that I'm in love with you, your are my everything from the beginning I think I was in love with you truly in love your my dream girl, you can kickass, your smart, brave, sexy you got it all, I legitimately care about you I think-I know if you died I would want to be dead right along with you."

There were unshed tears in shaundi's eyes."stop. I mean we can't your gonna have to leave sooner or later either way we cant be together I'm sorry but now that I'm thinking about we have to break up."

Shepard felt her heart leap in her chest and shatter into millions of pieces.

Shepard nodded."I understand its not you it's me thing I get it it's awesome."

Shepard walked out to the helipad and sat on the edge, death was easiest way out of this pain,she thought.

And she was right, but she also thought could she make shaundi see that nothing could break them up. All that was left was to think if she should just let go or make it all work… What was she to do?


End file.
